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Health Palm Ain’t For Your Grandmom…Unless Your Grandmom Cool As Shit

// Music, Review // April 25, 2017 // Adam

Space power over-watch destroying evil rats!  Space power over-watch destroying evil rats!  SPACE POWER OVER-WATCH DESTROYING EVIL RATS!

I’m sorry, but I can’t promise that’s entirely out of my system. Health Palm, the newest release from New Brunswick’s Spowder, out on Sniffling Indie Kids, is an absolute must-listen for any fans of old school, hardcore, mosh-pitting, punk music, the likes of which have not been seen, heard, or experience at this level of authenticity for quite some time.

The album rips open that can of whoop ass right from the start with the thirty-second first track SPACE POWER OVER-WATCH DESTROYING EVIL RATS, which, in case you haven’t caught on yet, is the most infectious thirty-second headbanger I’ve ever heard.  This track is the thesis statement of the entire album.  You know from Track 1 exactly what’s in store for you.  This isn’t music for Grandma, unless Grandma can do a dirty pop shove-it.

Health Palm is non-stop aggressive and adrenaline-fueled for the first several tracks.  The songs have to be short because if they were any longer you would become a serious threat to yourself and those around you.  I saw these guys and gals play at Monty Hall a little while ago and was scared that Declan was going to stroke out.  It was hot and sweat was flying off him, covering his bandmates and the crowd alike as he thrashed around the stage, but any less energy would not do this album justice.

Still, the slowest song on the album, “Let’s Skin Ruby,” is anything but a sleeper.  This one is heavy and dark and menacing.  The walking riffs and drolling vocals give you an anxious and uncomfortable feeling long before you realize the lyrics are “Let’s skin Ruby/ She’ll hang head down/ I want to see her organs,” and just when you start to feel your skin crawl, Spowder hits you with the breakdown.  It’s a major release of energy and really shows off the band’s ability to create rises and falls in a genre that, while usually high energy, tends to be pretty flat.

Spowder’s Health Palm is an album you really need to experience and enjoy for yourself.  For a relatively short release, there are so many moments to get lost in.  Killer riffs, kick-ass breakdowns, peaks, valleys, lyrics that make you feel unclean.  You really don’t have the right to ask for anything more.


Written by Adam

Adam gave man-birth to N.J. Racket and is as close to an "editor-in-chief" the site has. He's a god awful photographer.